New Year, New Beginnings

OK, so I know it's a total cliche - the whole New Year's Resolution thing - but I really feel like 2009 is going to be different somehow, like I am finally ready to make the necessary changes to lose the weight and keep it off forever. (Wow, I sound like a late night diet infomercial). But seriously, it's like a feeling in the air or an angel whispering in my ear - "it's time."

It is time to deal with the reasons for overeating, time to appreciate my body and what it can do, time to feed it only (ok, mostly) healthy plant-based, unprocessed, mostly raw nourishment. I am turning 35 in less than two weeks. Now is the time to turn my health around. I am trying to eradicate or at least greatly improve the following health problems:

- morbid obesity (yup, I said it and I own it - the first step)

- high cholesterol (not officially diagnosed)

- degenerative disc disease in my low back

- fibromyalgia-like symptoms, especially in my legs and neck/shoulders

- hypothyroid

- anxiety disorder

I know that with a serious commitment to diet and lifestyle changes, most of these conditions will get significantly better. I know from a previous 75 pound weight loss that my back pain will

greatly improve, and lower cholesterol levels are likely to follow.

To kick off the new year, I decided to re-read "Eat to Live" by Dr. Fuhrman. He advocates a 6 week (and ultimate life-long) vegan diet consisting of mostly raw and cooked veggies, fruits, and limited grains (no sweets, raw or not!). Although he is not a proponent of a 100% raw diet, I think his book makes a lot of sense. So I'm aiming to follow this program as much as possible for the next 6 weeks. I know I'm going to stray a bit on my birthday, but at least I will be celebrating at Pure Food and Wine. Yippee!!!! I am sooooo excited. My sister's birthday is within a week of mine, and we're going to NYC (she lives in Queens) to celebrate. And there is no freaking way I'm going to Pure Food and skipping dessert!

This weekend was a pretty good start, I must say. I enjoyed lovely green smoothies and green juices Friday, Saturday AND Sunday. Woooohooo! My Mom and I have always enjoyed going to the Portsmouth Health Food Store (NH). But this weekend, we discovered Blue Moon Cafe in Exeter. What a lovely place - green juices and smoothies, and lots of vegan dishes. We enjoyed a marinated kale salad and sweet and sour tofu - mmmmm. I skipped the yummy-looking vegan cookies.

This is day 4 and I'm still dealing with either caffeine or sugar withdrawal. And it completely sucks. I'm hoping it goes away soon. I'm also dealing with general whole body aches and pains. Ughhhhh. Detox sucks.

So, we'll see how it goes - one day at a time.

I'm baaaaaaaaack

First - HOORAY for Obama!!!! I am so thrilled that he won!!

Miss me?? No? Well, I missed you -and I've missed raw, that's for damn sure. What happened to me? Well, I started a new job in mid-July. Between a crazy schedule and the temptation of frequent work lunches of pizza and other crap, I slowly fell back into a SAD lifestyle. It was more convenient, and hey, everyone was doing it.

Then I started feeling more and more awful, and guilty, and sick - nothing serious, just that general feeling of malaise when your diet totally sucks. Then I read "The China Study" which just reinforced the complete tragedy of the SAD diet. So this past Wednesday, I started the 7 day detox (Raw Divas website) - I haven't followed it 100%, but I've been pretty close. The major problem is that I just feel hungry. And my no-caffeine-headache only went away today. Not fun - really not fun. But I need to get back on track. I have so much weight to lose, and I want to get rid of the almost daily back pain, knee pain, hating my reflection, hating getting dressed in the morning, etc. It's getting really old - and besides, I'll be 35 in January. (!!!!!!)

I know it sounds corny, but as I was watching the election night coverage and feeling completely overjoyed and inspired that truly anything is possible in this world, I realized that this was MY new beginning. Life does not have to be this way - it's time for change.

P.S. As an attorney, I must disclose that the above picture is from www.moveon.org - free stickers - artist is Shepard Fairey. :)

Long Time No Blog

OK, so this is by far the longest I've gone without blogging. Even though I joined the Raw Fu challenge, I've still been struggling big time. I didn't realize how quickly I could slip back into my old SAD habits. I'm back to drinking coffee in the mornings, often accompanied by a sugar and fat laden muffin. Ughhh. I'm also eating way too much ice cream.

On the positive side, I'm still staying away from meat - I'm not interested at all (blechh). Dairy is still a problem (obviously - coffee with milk or cream, ice cream, etc) I don't really know what to do at this point. I've been using the excuse of a new job, but it's been a month now. At some point, I have to decide whether or not to really commit to eating raw. But with raw-ness in my memory, I just can't see going back to being SAD - just the thought of it makes me - well -- sad.

Maybe I just need to take it one step at a time - at least make one GS every day - focus on salads. I also need to make it fun - try new recipes in the dehydrator. The onion bread I made didn't turn out well, but I think I just took it out too early. I'm going to try some corn chips next.

Hey - get this - I MET PHILIP MCCLUSKEY!!!! I was so psyched - I was in NYC visiting my sister, and made the trek to Pure Food Takeaway - it was such a pain in the ass to get there - we got lost, and couldn't find parking - and it was already getting late in the afternoon and we had to work the next day. Well, I'm so glad I went because Philip was there in his "iRaw" t-shirt. I couldn't believe it - it was like meeting one of the Beatles or something. He was very nice, but I felt kind of stupid going up to him. Let me just say how happy I was to take the extra time to find Pure Food.

Also, last weekend I went to Grezzo for the first time (Alissa Cohen's Boston restaurant). It was fabulous. My Mom and I tried the tasting menu - which I highly recommend - especially if it's your first time there. I need to go back to the website and write down everything I ate.

Ok, off to make the corn chips - and to try to get out of this major funk I'm in.

Just What I Need . . .

I've heard about RawFu for the past few weeks, but I assumed it was a 100% 100 day challenge. Considering I was struggling with 30 days, 100 days seemed out of the question. But I checked out the site a couple of days ago, and was happy to see that it was for all levels of raw. Hooray! And it's an awesome site - really friendly and positive - and motivating. :) It starts August 1st and goes for 100 days (duh). Bunny even has mini challenges and prizes. I'm really excited for this challenge - I think it's exactly what I need.

This may seem crazy, but even knowing that I don't "have" to be 100% raw every day will reduce my stress about the whole thing - and I think it will be easier to be high raw. It's amazing the mind games we can play, huh?

My goal by the end of this challenge is to be quite a few pounds lighter and much, much healthier. It may be difficult at times - during the next 100 days, I have my daughter's birthday, hubby's birthday, my Mom's birthday, and Halloween. Oh, and at least one work event. But I will just have to plan around those days - after all, the idea is to make raw part of my life, right? :)

Getting Over It

OK, so I failed at my 30 day 100% raw challenge. Boo hoo, woe is me - my life is over. Waaaaah. Wow, have I been feeling sorry for myself. Who freaking cares? It doesn't mean I still can't be high raw. Of course I can. I know raw is best - I feel the best, I actually lose weight, I have energy. If I can't be 100% raw right now, then so be it. Even being 50% raw is a million times better than how I was eating before I discovered raw.

So let's start from the beginning - when I first started eating raw, I drank green smoothies for breakfast and made sure I ate at least one big salad every day. I can do that now - today. I can also stop eating processed crap - or at least a lot less of it. I know it's bad for me, and I know it doesn't even taste that good. Easy.

I just got a dehydrator. A lot of raw foodies don't have one and are still living the high raw life. So why don't I actually use it? Yes, great idea. I will find recipes that look good (kale chips for one) and actually make them.

I will stop feeling sorry for myself. I will stop looking at all the people at work drinking coffee and soda all day long and wanting to go back to that life. Why would I? That's just stupid. I will stop saying how hard it is to be raw at work. It's NOT hard. If I go out to lunch, I can eat salad. Or I can at least order the most healthy choice. Better yet, I can bring food to work. If people comment on how I eat fruit and veggies all day, then fine - it will be a great opportunity to explain raw. Or I can just say I'm eating healthfully.

So I'm going to stop whining, and starting living raw again. Even if it's not 100% raw - so be it. If the time comes when being all raw works for me, then great. Until then, I will do the best I can.

So it's not going so well . . .

The good news is that my job is going really well. There is a lot to learn and a lot to get used to, but so far, so good.

The bad news is that it seems raw is a distant, lovely memory. I even got a dehydrator several days ago which I haven't used once. I was lusting after it for so long, and now it's just sitting there taking up space. I know a new job is stressful and busy and life-consuming, but this is NOT GOOD. What is wrong with me????

I'm not taking the time to make green smoothies in the morning, I'm not making salads for lunch, I'm not snacking on fruit . . . I have practically reverted back to the way I used to eat before raw. The cravings for not only cooked food, but BAD cooked food are totally out of control. This is really, really bad. I feel like I'm falling off the edge of a cliff and am desperately grasping for a branch to save me.

OK, try to think positively - I am still not drinking coffee or soda. I did have a salad and a green smoothie today. I am still checking GI2MR, etc on almost a daily basis.

But I feel like a failure - I was so psyched to be 100% raw for July, and failed miserably. When I fall off the wagon, I fall HARD. The current question: "WHAT DO I DO NOW????"

HELP

Hanging in there . . .

My job is going pretty well - there is a pretty steep learning curve, so I feel overwhelmed at times. Yesterday I fell kinda hard off the raw wagon. I was starving at dinner and didn't make good choices. But I'm back at it today - the key for me is to just get right back on the horse. The worst thing I can do is say "Well, Tuesday sucked, so the rest of the week is shot too" - that is just pointless. I think part of my problem is that my weight loss has not been as impressive as I thought it would be 100% raw. I'm not sure why that is. But I have to keep plugging away - I know this is the healthiest way to live.

Anyway, today I ate:

B: one banana (I know - not nearly enough)

L: one apple, lara bar

S: two apples, lara bar

D: GS with 2 bananas, peaches, kale

I really needed to add at least a big salad (and minus one lara bar), but I desperately have to go shopping.